If only it were possible to see my life as if more than a dozen people put their self into a situation that they seem to act like they love me or care about how I feel about things. I try my damnedest to make everyone I associate with feel the best possible way about what is currently going on. It’s really easy to love people, even the people who are superior to you, the people who draft their daily schedule with worldly things galore, or even the people that find the little things in life most intriguing. The best part of knowing you are lonely is that you don’t expect socially active people to want to know you, and too many people don’t know me. It’s wonderful sometimes and then sometimes I wish I were off of this planet for a while to drench my mind into all of the possibilities I could fulfill for myself. The last thing I want to do is put people in a position where they want to think I’m trying to persuade them that my life is better than theirs. I have nothing in my life worth rubbing in peoples faces, which is why I want to know how people work and how people’s opinions sound. Maybe high school is the perfect getaway from my degrading home life, or maybe it is the undertaker of my heart that helps me find whats worth loving and whats worth caring about. If someone doesn’t feel up to par everyday, or is just not in a perfect mood, I can understand a situation where they wouldn’t want me to overreact, but I want to show as much empathy as the time I spend alone permits me to display. I am ready to leave high school and see who still sees me as someone who will succeed and make a nice young man out of myself. I perceive that as a blessing from nature or a blessing from reality, but I’ll be damned if I meet someone who understands and deciphers my whole point of view and is okay with it. Nobody needs to know why I feel the way I do, and I prefer if nobody did, but it’s great to know people have the trait in their heart that helps them display prying. People are really the greatest thing in the world when they are not acting too much or proving too much. People who go with the flow and don’t take everything up for grabs and relax are the best kind of people, and that is coming from someone who has wiped the word “friends” completely out of his own mental dictionary. I really am starting to lose it. I only hope I will have time to see where I am missing something vital to my mind and essential to my lifestyle. Hm.